My Blood whispers to me...

Nails

2012-01-23T21:42:00.009+05:30

In those endless nights,

When I embraced you
And you found your home in my chest,
Your nails caressed my skin...

Never knew that those nails,
Will clasp me and make me helpless,
And the home we dreamt of,
Will decay, awaiting the free spirit...

The thoughts will wander,
And the soul will fly,
In those nights, when we are
You are you and I surrender

Then we can wait for the sun to rise,
And bathe ourselves in that glow,
Your hair will filter the rays of the sun
And we will see each other, as we are

Till then, my love,
Let the cold warm our heart,
And let our fingers become alive enough,
To feel the life inside.

Image Courtesy: Jack Vettriano

What others wants me to be

2011-12-30T00:27:00.000+05:30

I practised and practised,
But I could not create a melody...
And I pored through the manuscripts,
But I could not gain knowledge...

I saw the sun crawl up from the ocean,
But I could not see the daylight...
And I bought tickets to faraway places,
But I could not experience the journey...

I learnt the words of seers,
But I could not acquire the wisdom...
And I paintstainkly carved a statue,
But I could not express beauty of my love

I drank the best of the spirits,
But I could not get the high surreal high...
And I went to many venues where pleasure resides,
But I could not derive the bliss...

Then I realised,
I don't know what "I" means...
What I see myself as or
What others want me to be

bahut thand hai in sanson mein...

2006-11-10T01:30:00.000+05:30

Ok guys, am back to blogging and writing some of my musings!!!

Here is something I wrote recently,

Sauda

bahut thand hain in sanson mein,
dil jam gaya, aisa lagta hai,
chingari koi bhadka do is jism mein,
khaak ho jayenge woh saare zakhm..

yeh maine, chand ko kaha
woh bola, tu mujhe mat choo,
to main bola kyun?
woh bola tu mujhe tod de....

kuch chand ke tukde tod ke
daal diye maine teri god mein,
taare aa gaye mujhse ladne
bole ki mujhe unki roshni wapas karo

main bola, nahin kar sakta
kyunki woh to main ne de di
unhone poocha,kitne mein,
main kaha, bas apni ruh ke badle.

woh hans diye,bole tu nadaan hai,
ruh bech di?
usko? - jo tu kabhi nahi kharid sakta,
kaha hota to hum tujhe apna bana lete

main hans diya,bola...
mujhe chaand ki ghulaami manzoor hai,
par meri tooti hui roshni
tumhare kis kaam ki hai?

kya karoge, mera
mujh jaise roz bazaar mein bikte hain
ruh,shareer ko tod ke
apne aap se sauda, karte hain..

main chal diya us kaafile ke saath
jahan har koi ajnabi bhi hai aur apna bhi
ungliyon mein ungliyan baandh ke
sparsh ko zindagi banate hue...

Valentine Day Blues

2006-02-14T11:46:00.000+05:30

Well..well...this day really gets some of us..however much we try to escape...
wrote this poem today morning...enjoy..

When i walked out of my house,
And lost myself in the maddening crowd,
And when i stumbled as i ran for a seat,
I could feel your eyes watching me.

When i ran around to finish appointments,
And spoke words which people wanted to hear,
And When i closed my eyes for a short break,
I could feel your fingers caressing my face

When i felt bittered when i reached a dead end,
A deal which didnt materialise after lot of persuasion,
And when i raised my hands in despair,
I could feel you smiling at me and taking me in your arms.

When i reached home hungry and tired,
And looked around for something to eat,
And When hopelessly i ate some junk food,
I could feel you getting angry on me.

One more day has come to end,
One more night far away from you,
But when i tucked myself in the bed,
I found your shoulder to rest my head.

Miss you sweets.

Amen... first poem in this new year

2006-01-04T19:51:00.000+05:30

The lies stand before me naked...
The false words make me fantasise the truth...
The shame is staring so proudly at me
Melting me...and making me feel alive.

My friends in my head tell me
Its an illusion and you can beat it
But my dear friendly enemies
Smile at me and sell me words.

Sad is the warrior of perseverance
And the angel of luck is smiling devilishly
I wonder whats going on
Angels seem to be in love with the devil...

The end seems so close
And the reflection in mirror shows me a ghost
The fingers which were the instruments of nerves
Tremble and die with no life in them.

Few chose the path less taken
Many took the road lighted by angels
I have decided to grope in darkness
And light the road with my soul.
Amen.

A poem,wrote for a friend on her B'Day

2005-09-30T14:07:00.000+05:30

The above image is the artist's imagination of how the statue of Dominique may have looked like in Fountainhead.I can see it for eternity.But yes there is one flaw.The fingers should have been just touching the wire,instead of gripping it.

Anyways ,here is the poem...

Do you have a meaning?
Or your name encompasses the whole cosmos,
Binding the stars in your fist,
With galaxies curled around in your plait?
Were you born in this universe,
With the rising of the crescent of thousand moons?
Or it was the current of the oceans,
Which fuelled your charm and charisma?
Or it was the chant of holy monks,
Which created the calmness in your eyes?

Here's wishing you,
the power of Saturn,
So that you can wear the beautiful rings of life,
The light of Venus,
So that you can ignite love in people around you,
The gravity of earth,
So that you can make other's feel alive
And lastly,The beauty of full moon,
So that poets can write about you for the ages to come.

Why,a poem written by me long back

2005-07-16T19:57:00.000+05:30

WHY
===

Why the things left unsaid,
Are most fascinating?
Why the dreams at night,
Invoke in us the strongest emotions?
Why a single tree in wilderness,
Makes us feel alive?
Why the biggest failures,
Makes the winners out of us?
Why the loved one far away,
Is in our heart all the time?
Why the games of childhood,
Were the best things we had?
Why we want to turn back time,
Even if it was the hardest?
Why the voices of despair,
Beckon us as the sun sets?
Why the most pleasing moment,
Makes us meet our worst fears?
Why a small moment in life,
Changes the way we perceive life?

These questions I put to you,
Search for the answers around,
Even if you don't get them,
You will not lose anything,
But you will find,
Life is a gift to you,
SO enjoy it as long as it lasts,
You never know when you will be through.

A short story by me

2005-06-29T18:44:00.000+05:30

Rains.
The sky was moist,
And the evening was crushing me with the downpour,
Everything I saw ,
Was through the prism of raindrops,
The wet mongrel trying to sneak in the same tarpaulin as the cobbler,
Or that channawallah trying to hide the source of his bread from the rain,
The angry splash of muddy water,As if it is protesting against the weight of vehicles which run over it.
The raincoat wrapped school kids ,
With their backs bowed by the ambitions of their parents,
Stealing some time to enjoy the deep puddles of water on the road,
With due thanks to the civil engineers of the nation.
I looked out from the window of my bus,
The glass pane was wet and hazy,
I opened the window,
So that i can feel the brush of clouds on my face.
Then i saw that face,
Which possessed the strength and beauty infinite,
Standing below a tired tree,
She tried to shake off the droplets from her skin.
She looked out of place,
There was no reason for her to be there.
I knew right then,I had to get down now.
Leaving the confines of my bus,,
I touched the replenished earth,
And felt the rain kissing my skin and soothing my tired soul
I almost ran towards her...
The feeling was the same,
As felt by a would be father,
Walking in the corridors of an hospital,Anxiouosly waiting to see his progeny fo the first time.
I recalled her face again,
The thick wet strands of her hair ,Coiled around her flawless skin,
Her eyes searched for something,In that cloudy haze,
And that droplet trying its best not to leave the tip of her nose.
Her lips half open,As if trying to quench an unnamed thirst,
I took a turn to the road and could see her now,
Still trying to shield herself below that tree,
But now the helplessness in her eyes,
Had changed to defiance,As if she was willing to fight the fury of nature.
I finally reached upto her And asked,
"Ma,why you are waiting here and getting wet in the rain?"
She said,"Cos my son,i gave you my umbrella and you forgot your tiffin today."
She picked me up in her arms,scolded me for leaving my umbrella in the bus,
Shielded me in her bosom,and carried me home.

Blowing in the wind

2005-06-05T08:22:00.000+05:30

Another Sunday morning.And as usual one of my distant relative had to call me up at insanely hours(7 am!!!) and ask for advice on engineering colleges.So now am numbly awake and still trying to shake off the alcohol in my veins which absorbed me last night.
Mom went back yesterday and so did my 2 aunts and 3 cousins.Was great to have them here.At least this pigeon-hole flat felt lively for 2 weeks.
Cant shake off the blues right now.Reason are so many that i cant give them a coherent analysis.Again this feeling of emptiness is clinching my soul.my saviour in these times,Dylan is trying to sing my blues away and i hope i will be fine in some time.
Do read this lyrics,Bob Dylan's "Blowing in the wind'..awesome stuff...

How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
Yes, 'n' how many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they're forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.

How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
Yes, 'n' how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.

How many years can a mountain exist
Before it's washed to the sea?
Yes, 'n' how many years can some people exist
Before they're allowed to be free?
Yes, 'n' how many times can a man turn his head,
Pretending he just doesn't see?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.

Cheerios guys,its just another day in paradise.

Rohit

Life of a Rose

2005-05-18T20:28:00.000+05:30

When the moon descended and the sun arose
And the morning was overflowing with sleepy haze
Dew drops cuddled the flora and fawn
A capon welcomed the anonymous new day

There was born a exquisite rose last night
Still its petals were clasped together
It was just a matter of time for it to bloom
And his neighbours could not help but wonder

The rose was proud of its splendor
And he fantasised how his life will be
A lady may come and hold him in her hands
Caresssing his petals just perfectly…

All her love and passion will be ignited at the sight of him
And he will delight in the blissful embrace
She may think of her lover and put him close to her bosom
Or may just brush him over close to her face

Oh! How he delighted in his fantasy,
Impatiently he waited for him to blossom
He was lost in his idyllic world
When he was cut apart from his derivation

He found himself torn apart on the road,
Its beautiful and unripe petals crushed by feet,
Because it was the time to perform last rites,
Of two fated lovers who could never meet..

Before he lost his way in unknown,
He thought why do we dream and soar,
Why beauty is there but not the appreciation
And why simple things become so obscure….

Muskaraiye ki aap lucknow mein hain

2005-05-18T20:02:00.000+05:30

am in mumbai since jul'2003 onwards.Have spent 2 years in boarding in nainital(1991-92) and four years in Calicut,kerela(1999-2003).
Now coming back to my town and the place where my heart is.
Oudh...we all know it as Lucknow.
The city can be broadly divided in two parts,old lucknow and new one.People who have been to bhopal will find these 2 cities quite similar.
As soon as you reach lucknow railway station(charbagh),you are at one of the most elgantly designed stations of british raj.Seen up from the sky,the station looks like a chess board.
The old city has wonderful places like imambara,bhulbhulliya(awesome architecture..a maze),roomi darwaza and others.Residency,a place which was a mute witness to the first war of independence in 1857 still can take u in that era.(sadly now its the love birds who are more interested in going there).
You will find loads of chikan karigars.The work is loved all over the world.And its all done by hand.The next time you wear a kurta/suit/saree of chikan work,just try to wonder,all this work has been done by a lady sitting in cramped premises.
There is a unique flavour to the lucknowites(people who have been living there for 1-2 generations).Something carefreee and relaxed,which also reflects in the city.If you stop someone on the road,and ask for directions,dont wonder if he comes with you and drops u there!!!
The best thing about Lucknow???? Fooooooooooood...
I have been almost all over india(except jaipur,which i have heard is great for cuisine too),and let me say,these are the things which are out of this world:
1>Biryani- even the roadside thela waala makes better biryani than top names in mumbai.For comparison,mumbaites go rave about a place called "bade miyan" near churchgate,i have been there,and that place sucks!!!
reason biryani so good is,its cooked in desi ghee,the rice melts in ur mouth,and the rice is cooked with meat,the shorba seeps in...
2>Kebabs-minced kebabs with parathe..wowie!!
3>raja ki thandai...try it with bhaang..and then its al jai jai shiv shanker
4>chaat(pani puri,matar,aloo tikki etc)-have it in lucknow,noone makes it better
5>paan

moreover,lucknow is a great place to shop.for people who love that real shopping feeling.the mall culture has killed the art of shopping.
Aminabad,a market spread across almost 5 kms.you can get anything here,from jewellery to 100 varieties of saunf.bargain to your hearts content.I still remember my mom taking me along when i was a kiddo and the incentive being the awesome milk badam at one of the shops!!!
there is no place like Hazratgang.The centre of the city.In terms of shops,offices and the crowd.Have spent hours walking on this 2km stretch of road there with my friends ,fooling around and bird watching in my school days.

as for the night life,sorry people,not much.We just have one sports bar but its quite good.For bars,there are lots.
But my fave activity is to drive upto IIM-L ,park ur car in a farm,enjoy the stillness of the night and have the elixir.
Or there is a new place called lucknow ka marine drive!!! a one way stretch of the road along the river Gomati.A great place to vroom ur car/bike and shout ur hearts out.
Lucknow cantonment is another place to roam about.One of the best Cantt. areas i have seen.
As for the natural beauty,nothing much to boast of except a river.Nearby there are some nice picnic spots.
All of you must have heard of the phrase,"Oudh ki shaam"..and truly there is something about it.When the sun sets,it really gets beautiful.Evenings are depressing for me here in mumbai,but in lucknow,evenings somehow cheer u up and makes u feel alive.

muskariye ki aap lucknow mein hain ...

the quest for unknown

2005-04-08T12:38:00.000+05:30

the quest for unknown,as many philosphers have mused over the centuries,stimulates ;invigorates somethign as trivial as human mind.have u ever wondered,this small slimy piece of grey matter can be made responsible for what we are today? from the invention of wheel,to light up a fire,to explore how copulation can be pleasurable and now to virtual reality where the realms of truth are too close yet so far.i hope i am not gettin too technical,but since childhood i used to compare our universe and the life inside an atom,or mesons(short time livin matter)...think r whole universe is just a small particle in some big big world..and the chain continues.it may be centuries for us bu tfor some other entity it may be just a tiny tiny fraction of time...and here are we...proud of the saga of r thinkers..r books..r history..how we evolved...and proud of "I". seen in a way ,we take so much ego,so much proud on our being.our wants ,our emotions ,our preferences such a big issue forus...is it good or bad?i think its the way nature is...we have to be proud of our being.the"I"...cos even if we our a small entity,r individualism,the specialcharacteristic in us is very important for the universe to sustain.may be amtoo much hypothetical ,but its the way we are and the way we interact with rsurroundings,it may b nature,people,work,pleasure...that all constitutes theway to self discovery.

one more poem...

2005-04-08T09:51:00.000+05:30

IT SEEMS LIKE....

It seems like the milky way,
Is enveloped in my fingers...
When i admire and play
With your beautiful curls....

It seems like the cool sand,
Is numbing every strain in my body,
When i touch and feel,
The floating curves of your skin..

It seems like the earth below me,
Has lost its shape and and turned into water..
When your eyes see through me ,
And i become a slave to my master..

It seems like I have put myself,
In the centre of scorching sun,
Whenever our lips come close,
And we try to become one...

It seems like the fragrance of Eden,
Is incarnating my complete soul..
When you say something to me,
And the tempest carries me away whole..

Such is the effect,
You have on me ,my love:
Centuries can pass by,
If i drown myself in your eyes..
So do a favor .tell me you hate me,
So that when i die,I have this consolence..
That you were not made of stone.
You had a heart too.

A poem from me

2005-02-07T20:25:00.000+05:30

"Give me this life again"
I wandered around alone in the crowd,
The faces were there but no one recognised me,
As if my pain has turned me into a ghost,
All i could feel was my blood flowing free...
I cried,"Can anyone help me?"
and their reply screamed through,
"We cannot help ourselves,how can we help you?
Can't you see we are already dead?
Our dreams sold to the past?
Cos we prefer to be safe and numb
Instead of taking risks and left aghast...
You thought of yourself as a dreamer,
And you seemed to be proud of it,
Now see what you have become,
As you are dying bit by bit..
.See us..
how comfortable we living dead are,
Oblivious of pain,feelings and ecstasy,
Living our life in governed motions,
And our eyes shut down to anything we dont want to see,
Your wound is deep but there is still time for you,
Stop dreaming and face the reality,
We don't need romantic fools out here,
Who make us see things which are not meant to be
The door is open for you
The cure is lying out there
Come and become like us
You will be contended we swear...."
I closed my eyes and went back in time
And cherished all those memories when i felt alive
As i laid down my head in the bleeding earth
I prayed to God,give me this life again....